inscribing my writing

I will write today some verse of my self-estimation with a sense of affection to it, shadowed by my own disapproval.

Once, in response to my draft of a research paper, my co-adviser sent me a note of appraisal, which I rather approved as an encouragement "your writing fluctuates a lot, but when you put your mind to it, its a great pleasure working with you".

I was humbled and honored but conceived it least, yet considered it as a endorsement to keep doing.

His kind words came to me less as an appraisal because I ever expected least a good evaluation of my thorny writing ability; but I received it as an encouragement as it backed me to go on with my own way of expressing things with courage, imagination and vigor.

But to some extent, the statement made me fool in many circumstances. I began to involve my mind in to it more intensely to improve this ability of mine, sometimes with a bit of self-push, or sometimes voluntarily. But, I ended up inscribing most the worst.

I began to realize, when I feel an inner urge to write and all my emotions and brain participate naturally to it, I compose satisfactorily.

To a person who has learned first the alphabets 'A-B-C-D' in his high school and achieved this degree of recognition from an native speaker of that language, is indeed special.

Its not the expertise in language that writes, but the motivation behind the imaginations that mumble for it.